MANTHAN

Moment 2: Again the graduation time and this time moving back to Jammu for graduation. My stay in Pune lasted for just 2 months and being ambitious i didn’t want to remain with whatever i had got. The small stay helped me to generate my interests in engineering and more importantly I got in touch with some of my pre-final year seniors- Nalin from Computers, Ashwani Sharma from Mechanical, Pratap Ganjoo from Electronics and Anil Bhat from instrumentation. I shared very good rapport with all of these guys and often used to visit them for frequent help and guidance. I never knew my meeting with Nalin will have some other hidden context in it. Nevertheless I was going great guns in whatever I had got and was trying to assimilate as much as possible. During this time I appeared for my midterm exams and successfully cleared all the subjects getting AC (All Clear-engineering lingo for passing all the subjects ). I was getting used to it when i was bound to commit another mistake. I had appea...

The title may be inspired from Chetan Bhagat's bestselling novel but the fact of the matter is that this aptly summarises my new post. They say time and tide wait for no man and I definitely stand an illustration to this maxim. Mistakes or may be simply things where I should have taken decision from my mind’s viewpoint and not from heart’s perspective, the circumstances where in I should have trusted my instincts and not my emotions. The moments where in I should have resorted to some confrontation rather than subduing to them. So what were the moments, the circumstances which had this bearing on my life? Probably this post might help me in catharsis and encourage me to do the things differently next time. Moment 1: My graduation time and the decision to do my graduation from my home town. I had studied pretty hard for the higher secondary with the aim to be in merit. My luck ditched me here by 10 marks and I could not make it. But I scored pretty decent marks (90 plus PCM). I had...

Last couple of days I got few shockers more- infact they have become a part of my learning curve now. Actually I had myself understood the worldly matters and was aware about the need for no expectations in life but at the end of the day I am human and having the urge to expect something or other.And the moment there are expectations there are heart breaks and sadness. Best policy to observe,hence, is "no expectations, no shocks". Probably it is the impact of ones karma that has a bearing on these expectations...tending to be bit philosophical now. Philosophy apart- thanks to all those friends who joined me directly/indirectly last week. Thanks to even those who were not there. God Bless and take care

“I can’t please everyone”. This is what a nearest friend of mine conveyed to me today. “ I have my own principles, ethics and values. Let me stand by them.” He shouted at me. This made me think that probably I don’t possess any ethics, any values and probably that is correct. I don’t know what ethics are. I don’t have any idea of principles and yes even values are missing. The continued analysis of my current state of mind shows that it is probably because of these things missing. No defensive attitude but I think my only ethics , principles and values are to find ways by which I can make other people happy and I am happy doing that. Although that has given me shivers more than satisfaction yet I believe in The Highest Majesty and His powers which bestow me with this temperament . Only request to Him is please give me less shivers as I can’t handle this cold anymore now.

Once I met Ms Take and eagerly I asked “ why do you happen so often”. She smiled and said "Correct it". I was confused but could not understand the hidden context. Again I encountered her and again I put forward the same query. She again smiled and said “Correct it , it is getting late”. Again I could not get the cue and moved on without understanding what is the agenda. Ms Take never left me and still I came across her. I said angrily” why the f*** you not leaving me. She retorted and said “ I cant leave you now. Ask the second one. I am the impact of her”. I asked the second the reason. She said the answer is with the first one. Angrily with lot of discontent I asked the first one the reason and the reply was with again a smile. The reply was a learning for me. This is what she said” I always happen come what may. It is the responsibility of the men to help dodge me. If he does save himself from me I would never lead to any others. But if he fails in keeping me in control I...

Any successful person would fully agree with this fact that to be successful in life one needs to possess the ability to decline at times,the ability to reject certain propositions, the ability to disregard the things. My current state of mind has been entirely because I dont possess this ability. During my tenure outside Jammu when I was in Mumbai/ Pune for studies and job, I had slowly cultivated this ability but I was destined not to have this quality in me. The beauty of this thought goes to my experiences in 2009 wherein I left Pune for Jammu. Had I taken the decision not to go ahead I would have never come to Jammu and probably could not have entered into this second phase. Once this event occurred, it triggered a series of other events which again had a huge bearing on my life and probably could have severe impact on me in due times to come.This tragedy of not saying NO has virtually ripped me off. I have no clues of what is gonna happen in future but the fright keeps me awake ...

Watched Fightclub ( Brad Pitt starring) today and probably was thinking how the situation of a man can go worse when in depression. A state of hallucination prevails in the mind of Edward Norton throughout the movie till he understands what he really had done. Edward suffers from insomnia in the movie which leads him into the hallucination stage. The movie reminds me of another such movie the Russell Crowe starrer-A beautiful mind where in Russell plays the role of affected scientist. One thing about both these characters is their strength of the imagination which probably them through. The fact remains that mind is absolutely the master of body and probably universe. Man's heart defines how his mind should act and probably a well knit coordinated effort between the two leads to an effective result.In both the above cases one part dominates the other( heart dictates mind).Now coming to the topic about my state of mind, a sense of manthan is also going on. Sometimes I feel the heart...